Thursday, May 2, 2013

I'm Packing Up and Moving to Wordpress. Shots on the House!

So, yea. The title of this post is pretty self-explanatory, so there you have it.

The site's actually been active for a few weeks, but I only now realized I should probably let everyone who checks here know what's going on. Come join the fun at the new digs! I promise even more celebratory shots*.

You'll have a good time. Trust me. See you there!

*Only if you come to Denver and go bar hopping with me.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Happy Birthday Steven Seagal

It's easy nowadays to equate Steven Seagal with the words "douche" and "washed-up." But for a while there, he was a certified bad ass of action cinema. So, since it's his 61st birthday today (and I barely realized this in time), I'll just go ahead and give a small tribute to him on my blog alter and hope he one day answers my prayers by making me capable of knocking a man's teeth out with a pool ball wrapped in a sock.

Fire Down Below is the last Seagal movie I genuinely enjoyed. Not because it's a truly good movie, but because a lot of the scenes and dialogue are hilariously bizarre. Take, for instance, how the clip I'm about to show you begins, with Seagal pronouncing to a bunch of thugs "I was just taking a little Sunday stroll, I guess maybe it's not Sunday"; the brilliant retort being "You picked a fine time to take a walk in our marijuana field." If that's not entertainment, well, maybe the rest of the clip of him punching hicks in their huge belt buckles will be. After Fire Down Below, he did The Patriot and Exit Wounds, and thus began his slide into DTV. Still, I'll always have fond memories of him from the late '80s and '90s, and this movie puts a smile on my face every time.

"You could be an English teacher, probably, except you don't understand plain English, do you?"

Bonus: The entire movie is on YouTube. Enjoy (or don't).

Monday, April 1, 2013

That, Sir, is Impressive - Jiro Dreams of Sushi (2011)

I think if everyone had at least half of the dedication and understanding of Jiro Ono, the world would be a lot better off. Mastering the art of preparing sushi since around the age of 10, Jiro has built himself quite a reputation. If you want to eat as his restaurant, you have to make a reservation a month in advance and be prepared to pay - at minimum - $300 per person. I might agree that the price is a little steep, but after watching Jiro Dreams of Sushi, I might also one day find myself forking over whatever the going rate is to see what 75 years of single-minded focus tastes like.

Friday, March 29, 2013

Just in Time for the Weekend

After taking about a month-and-a-half off from writing jack shit due to my daughter(!) being born, I return to bring you this video. It's pretty cool because 1) Bradley Cooper is asking the question, and he later becomes a guest of the show, and 2) Sean Penn makes no god damn sense. Enjoy.

Happy Friday!

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Blogathon: Movie Jail Relay Race

Darryl from Morally Oblogatory has kindly passed the Movie Jail baton to me, and I can't tell you how excited I am to prosecute the sad sack of flesh you'll see below. But before I get to that, you should know that the Movie Jail Relay Race was started by Nostra from My Filmviews & The Focused Filmographer. The official rules are as such: